Unconditional Love

Today, I lost one of the best friends I ever had. The wanting started right after we moved into our house in 2007. For me, a house is not a house without a dog. A big one. So we got with one of my mom's friends, and a few weeks later came home with this: 








We struggled with a name, and finally ended up with our little Dakota. He didn't stay little for long. He grew, and grew.....and grew. He chewed up things, broke things, stole things, and lots of other events I'm sure I have no idea about. But he was wonderful.

He took his rightful place around the house....and in our hearts. The front porch swing was his. Every year, we would buy new cushions, and he would claim them. He was the best big brother.

He loved Liam and Liam loved him. He stretched out on my mom and dad's couch like he owned the place. He chased boogers in the dark. He lived through our robbery. He patiently waiting on the last waffle every Saturday morning at breakfast. He was always on the back porch waiting when we got home. Everyone morning we would leave and Liam and I would say, "Bye, Koda! Be good puppy!"

I never thought it would all change so fast. On Tuesday, he started feeling ill. By Wednesday night I had him at the vet. Pancreatitis. Totally treatable. But none of the medicines helped. This morning around 5 am, he gave in and passed away.

My face and my eyes have never hurt so bad from crying. The house seems to empty. And I realize how much I have taken for granted. The sound of the swing hitting the house when he jumped in it (and poked his head out from under the tent that John built around it this winter). The barking as he chased the four wheelers around the farm (and the sadness that he never got to run with John on his, really. He got sick only a few days after John got it.)

But he;s not hurting anymore, and that makes me happy. I will always regret that I didn't see him more when he was at the hospital. And that I wasn't there when he passed.

I miss you buddy. I hope your having fun chasing deer in doggy heaven. Liam asks about you, and I try my best to explain, but I end up crying. I never realized how much I truly love you. Now and always. Sweet dreams, big guy.

I'm sure there's a couch and a swing up there just for you....