Oh, there's no places like home....

For the holidays! Oh, yes, how I've missed them. I am more in the spirit this year. That's the thing about mood disorders, you never know when they are going to strike. Last year, my depressive episode kept me in check as soon as the cold weather hit (IE seasonal depression), but so far, not this year. I've had the Christmas music on since the day after Thanksgiving. We had a full house again this year.

Nathan's Snicker Cheesecake

We ate and drank, laughed, and played games.

We also had fun at John's sister's house...

Unfortunately, the day after Thanksgiving, they went black Friday shopping and she was a victim. She tripped and broke her leg in two places. She now has a plate in her ankle and a rod in her leg. She goes home tomorrow. Feel better soon, Tammy.

On the upside, we got our tree up, and this year I finally got a train! I am so excited. Now all that's left is taking Liam to pick out his yearly ornament at hallmark. I love traditions...old ones, and the new ones we make. I suggest you embrace some of your own. There is comfort to be found. Merry Christmas!

Some things are only learned....

That's right....the hard way. I have basically had to hit a very hard bottom over the last few days to get my priorities back in line. But sometimes that's the way it has to be. Usually when I write blogs like this, afterwards I think of things I should have said, should have left out, and should have said differently. So please forgive me...I'm sure some things will fall into one of those catagories.

I have hurt someone this week. Someone I care about deeply. Although unintentional, what I did was bad enough on it's own. But I had no idea I was only adding to pain that had been ongoing. So I apologized. Sincerely and immensely. What they could have said, what they should have said was "I'm done. Leave. Forever."

But what they said should me even more than that. "I love you. I need you here. I have to trust in God."

Okay, let me be perfectly clear. I have lost more sleep and sanity over this than I never have in my life. Guilt and disappointment are mild words. But here, through the mouth of a mortal, I found God again.

Let me make something else clear. I have always been a believer, but like a lot of people, for a long time I was a convenient believer. I always had faith, but I only really asked for things when I needed them. What can God do for me today?

In an instant, that all changed for me. This morning, I went to church anxious to hear for the first time in a long time. It's been a while since I've been just because I felt obliged to. And let me tell you....I didn't realize how much I missed or needed that connection. The words and songs washed over me like a rainstorm. And it felt so good.

Especially to know forgiveness...and be put back in to what really matters in this life. To fully appreciate my marriage, my friendships, and how without God in the center of everything in my life, it's all wasted. I hope to raise my son to be a better Christian than I have been. And I hope to lead him by example. That one person showed me that no matter what you're going through, that your trust should be in God and it will all be done in His time...that was powerful. And I didn't know how much I needed that.

So thank you. For more than one thing. For being you, for your unwaivering faith, and for just being the person you are. And I'm sorry again. What more can I say? Maybe Thank You?

That's still not enough. It never will be. But we all have to have goals, right? 

All Buttered Up

I admit it. I have an addiction. We go to Texas Roadhouse and we sit down at the table with that hot, steamy bread and that little bowl of deliciousness. The cinnamon butter. Oh yes. Awesome. But I want it alot. Alot more that we can afford to go to Texas Roadhouse. So I started doing my own experimenting.

After asking around I found the secret ingredient. Sweetened condensed milk. Yes. Never thought of that. Here is the homerun recipe:

1 c. butter

1/3 c. sweetened condensed milk

1/2 tsp corn syrup 

1 tsp cinnamon

But I don't always have sweetened condensed milk sitting around my house. So I did my own experimenting and this is a pretty good one that John and I both like.

1 c. butter

2 tbsp corn syrup

1-2 tsp cinnamon

2 tsp confectioners sugar.

If you liked it really creamy you can add 1/2-1 tsp honey. 

Enjoy!

Helpful Household Hint

Okay....so I'm not the best housekeeper in the world. I tend to let things go and then go on a spree. Which is exactly what I did this morning....and I wanted to share a helpful household hint for those of you like me.

We have a vinyl shower curtain and liner. John and I tend to forget to stretch it back out after we get out of the shower. I keep a daily spray in the bathroom, but more often than not that gets forgotten, too. So I noticed that we were starting to get some mildew spots on the liner. It's not that old. I didn't want to buy a new one. So I asked around and learned a very helpful hint....ready?

YOU CAN WASH THEM!

Yes, yes you can. But you have to be careful. If you have a top leading machine, you need to toss in a couple of towels with it to keep the machine from unbalancing. Use a couple splashes of vinegar instead of detergent or bleach. Use warm water. Cold makes the vinyl brittle and hot makes it too soft and it will stick together. It can be dried, but air dry in the dryer (IE, no heat.) 

This worked beautifully and saved me about twenty bucks. Now....go clean!

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things

Not a lot to talk about this week, but since it has been 1 year today since I lost my Grandpa (my last living grandparent), I thought it appropriate to share some family pics since these are by far some of my favorite memories.


A Favorite......

The last picture I have with grandpa

And the last picture I personally ever took of him....

Some other fond memories:

Of basketball in the driveway....

How many times have we seen this over the years?

And still the main man in my life....my dad.

And the sisters......

"You may think me shallow and even callous for seeking the laughter in loss,the fun in funerals, but we can honor the dead with laughter and love,which is how we honored them in life. God must have meant for us to laugh through our pain,because He stirred in an enormous measure of absurdity into the universe when He mixed the batter of creation. I'll admit to being hopeless in many respects, but as long as I have laughter, I'm not without hope."

-Dean Koontz- "Seize the Night"